Grappling with Grace

Grappling with Grace

Do you want to know one of my secrets? I don’t understand the grace of God. Sure I have head knowledge about it and I could quote a few scriptures but in all honesty I don’t get it down deep in my soul. I know how to show grace to others (most of the time) but I don’t know how to give myself grace. Moreover, I struggle with receiving God’s grace and the grace of others. A few months ago I began to pray that the Lord would teach me about grace. I knew that this prayer could be risky (Its kinda like praying for patience) but I went for it. A few weeks later a friend gave me a book called “Grace for the Good Girl.” SCORE! God was totally going to teach me about grace through a book! Sweet…no trail or difficult transition to learn from. God finally let me off easy…or so I thought. I was very wrong. He wanted me to learn, grow and apply grace to my life. How was he going to do this? My “hands-on grace training” has come in the form of a new job. I wasn’t looking for a job but He placed one in my lap. It was one of those glorious moments were you look up into the heavens, throw your hands in the air and say with exhilaration… “UMMM DO I GET A SAY IN ALL OF THIS?!?!” God perfectly orchestrated every aspect of this job (I’ll share more about that soon) I had no other choice than to say yes. Four weeks into the new job and I am knee-deep in mommy guilt. I’m pretty sure I’ve become a horrible wife/sister/friend/daughter. To top it all off my house is gross. My daughter told me yesterday, “Mommy you need to do laundry the pile is getting REALLY high!” My condemnation is running high…I spent the last hour (or three…who’s counting) ruminating old failures. I mentally berated myself for messing up so many friendships lately and lectured myself about my parenting weaknesses. Please tell me I’m not alone…have any of you had these ridiculous conversations in your head too? I wish my brain came with a pause button! God is doing a work in me…I have no answers tonight but…Lamentations 3:22-23 reminds me that… “The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.” As I head off to bed tonight I take comfort in the fact that God has freely given me grace. If I keep seeking, grace will be my guide!   The grace tree image was found at http://thomasg1971.blogspot.com/2011/11/what-does-grace-of-god-mean.html   Share...

The Journey from Stay at Home Mom to Working Mom

The Journey from Stay at Home Mom to Working Mom

The craziest thing happened Monday morning. I woke up, got dress, left the house without my kids and became a working mom! At five years old I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up…A Mom! This direction has never really changed. In high school I use to pretend like I had huge career plans and lofty dreams. My friends wanted to be doctors and lawyers. I wanted to be a wife and a mom! For the last six years I have been “Living My Dream” as my husband likes to say. My “dream” has involved tantrums and triumphs, messes and milestones, sleeplessness and sweet surprises. I have loved (almost) every minute of mommyhood. Over the last few months, little by little, the Lord has prepared me for a new chapter in life. I am on a journey from stay at home mom to working mom! The next few months will be speckled with highs and lows as I settle into this new rhythm of life. God’s Grace will be my guide as I traverse this new territory. Grace is my theme for the coming months. I have a lot to learn in this area and I welcome your comments as I grapple with grace.   Share...